Mavericks Like Us

Southland 2.03 - U-boat

2010-03-17T13:03:37Z

( Spoiler alert. )

So we meet again, Monday

2010-03-15T13:03:46Z

This weekend was fantastic for social/relaxation stuff. Not so great with the working. I left the exam on Friday and lay on my couch watching the teevee until going to sleep. Then Saturday I drove down to Righteous Housing and hung out with cmshaw, uschickens, and lightgetsin. We actually lured cmshaw there under false pretenses of beer and White Collar. Which naturally devolved into shooters + American Idol/Adam Lambert/Lady Gaga clips fest. Like it does.

When I inevitably fell asleep, we declared it a party and went to bed. I woke up early, completely unaware of the time change, and hit the road so I could get some work done at home. En route I decided to defy a certain direction from the GPS. After making this rash decision, I checked the estimated time of arrival and was shocked to see what should have been just a few minutes away was now over an hour away. Initially I assumed that I'd made a really stupid error. (This is actually not an unreasonable assumption for me to make.) Then I passed a familiar landmark and new w/o question that I was twenty minutes from home, max, and realized that it must be time for Daylight Savings.

And then I sent up a little prayer of thanks that my med school interview is next week and not today, because you know if it was today I'd show up an hour late and not know why.

Speaking of, today I have a mock interview w/ the director and co-director of my program. I've got to wear the suit and basically be prepared like it's the real thing, and then they'll give me feedback. I've channeled ALL of my anxiety about the interview into the most ridiculous thing: getting the suit dry-cleaned after my mock interview. What if Something Happens, I think to myself, knowing full well this is irrational. What if Something Happens and then I have to go to my real interview in PAJAMAS?! (An actual dream I had earlier this semester: In it I'm wearing pajamas and sporting bedhead and actually on my way out the door to the interview when I ask my roommate 'do you think I should wear the suit?' and she's all O.O YES I DO OH MY GOD. That's...pretty much the whole dream right there.)

Anyway, after the mock interview this morning I have to write an orgo paper. Like, all of it. Because it is due today. I did work on it yesterday, but that work turned out to be interpreting NMR and IR data to figure out what the hell I'd made in the first place (it was a grignard reaction using an unknown ketone and an unknown alkyl-halide), looking up boiling points and densities and calculating mass, moles, millimoles and equivalents. Then when I was ready to really dig in and get started I couldn't find the program I'd used to draw the chemical equations last semester. I have a dim recollection of deleting it, so I went to download it again and it was having none of it. There's something wrong with how it downloaded and I couldn't draw *anything* in the program, when I could get it to load at all. I tried a bazillion different times, tried unloading and reloading, and tried to find other programs with no success. So today I'm going to go to the library at school and use their computers to draw the thing.

And now I've got to go get ready for the mock interview. Won't do to be late.

100 Things About Me Meme: the update edition

2010-03-13T03:23:18Z

( let's be honest, I'll be lucky if I even come up with 10 things... )

The usual

2010-03-12T05:00:54Z

( Blahblahtiredblahblahschoolblahblahcoffeeblahblahfandom (in which there are spoilers for Southland S.1 through S2e2, plus my own speculation about plot points based only on what we've seen thus far) )

My exciting weekend plans: let me show you them

2010-03-06T17:55:17Z

Have you ever noticed that time on weekend mornings is orders of magnitude earlier than it is on weekdays. 8AM on a Saturday is roughly equivalent to 6AM on a Monday. Or something. Of course, I was up and out of bed by 6AM because, well. I'm a morning person and I'm crazy like that.

I thumbed through an MCAT prep book on gen chem while savoring my morning coffee (parenthetically, the soy milk I used in the coffee emulsified and eventually precipitated as a gross, gelatinous mass at the bottom of my mug. Yummy). Then I headed to school to take a full-length MCAT under timed conditions in a computer lab. (The idea being to get used to taking the test under conditions that will closely mimic the real day. So, surrounded by my classmates and ignoring their noises, etc.)

Upside: I raised my composite score to 32. I got scaled scores of 12 (out of 15) on both the verbal and the biological science sections. Downside: this is the third practice test I've taken, and the damn physical sciences score is stubbornly refusing to budge. It's been holding steady at 8 since the beginning. At least I know where to focus my attention, I guess.

Upside 2: it is extremely gratifying to recognize/understand more and more things on the biological sciences section, just by attending lecture. There was a passage on acetylcholinesterase on the exam, and we literally covered that in lecture yesterday. Awesomesauce!

And now I will spend the rest of my day in a grocery store studying organic chemistry. Like you do.

Life as I know it

2010-02-28T23:24:47Z

( Still not <strike>king</strike> dead! )

Got the interview.

2010-02-18T23:53:02Z

It's March 22nd. \0/

In which the profs make up for the snow week

2010-02-17T12:49:02Z

First, let me just say this: snow week? An entire week off of school? Unheard of. Of course, there are still piles of snow so huge that navigating parking lots around here is highly reminiscent of navigating a corn maze.

That is not the point of this post. The point of this post is to whinge about fitting in lectures every which way (although I realize the soundness of this plan, it is still *exhausting*). Today I have a one hour break between 8:30-6:30. The rest of that time I'll be in lecture or lab. Bio, Physics, 2nd Physics, break, postbacc meeting, orgo lecture, orgo lab, second bio. Tomorrow I have two labs during the day, and then a bio lecture from 5-6PM. Friday we've got 2 physics & 2 bio lectures in the morning. On Saturday we have physics lectures. The orgo prof is going to make up the time by posting lectures to the web and having us listen on our own time.

It makes sense, and rationally I'd rather cover the material now than deal w/ it at the end of the semester. (The undergrads' school year has been extended by a week or two to deal w/ the missed time, but that would put our finals in the same week as the MCAT, so. You know. This really is the better bargain. It's just...we're doing twice the work as usual, with significantly less time in which to study/assimilate the info.)

So. You know. I'll just be here, keeping my head down. I'm thinking it might actually make sense to just move right into the library, at this point, save a little on rent. I'm there all the time anyway.

In other other news, we had another meeting of the LGBT youth group last night, w/ several new attendees including another middle-schooler. Dawww, dads dropping off their 13 yo queer kids and being super happy for the opportunity = unbelievably cute. Also, the kids were gratifyingly shocked to learn I was *gasp* in my thirties. (One kid actually turned to me all big-eyed when the other facilitator revealed that she was 30 and said, 'but YOU'RE not in your thirties, are you?' When I said that I was 34, turning 35 later this year, he about fell over. Dear Dad, not thrilled to have inherited the mustache and the inclination to sweat at the slightest uptick on the thermometer, but thanks for the baby-face genes. \0/

bayleaf @ 2010-02-10T09:57:00

2010-02-10T15:04:58Z

It is still snowing here. We had at least an inch (additional - you know, on top of the two fucking feet we already had) by 7 PM last night. By 11PM we had maybe 4 inches of accumulation. The forecast was for anything between 10 and 20 additional inches of snow. Because, you know, four feet of snow is TOTALLY BETTER than two feet of snow.

Holy crap. And, okay, I'm kind of a winter snob. I don't know if you know this about me. But every winter in Baltimore/DC I end up doing dumbass things like going out without a coat because, you know, New England is colder than the mid-Atlantic states and therefore the mid-Atlantic states must not be cold. This, it turns out, is not the case. It may not be as cold here, or it may not be as cold on average, but 20 degrees is not really shirtsleeves weather any more than 10 degrees is. So. Yes. I dumbass things up a bit.

One of the dumbass things I like to do is roll my eyes at the way things SHUT THE FUCK DOWN every time a rumor goes around that someone's cousin's mailman's dog saw something that may or may not have been a snowflake. Except, here's the thing: there is no fucking infrastructure here to handle snow. The roads here are consistently worse than the roads in NE during a snow storm because there aren't as many plows or sandtrucks or whatever. Right now there are news reports about how none of the secondary streets in Bmore were plowed after the *first* two foot snow storm this week. The plows that were skinny enough to fit down the secondary streets were too light to move two feet of snow, and the plows that were heavy enough to move two feet of snow couldn't get down the streets w/o knocking mirrors off everyone's cars as they went.

So, we're having two snowstorms in a single week that are both big enough to shut things down for a day or two in NE, except without all of NE's infrastructure to get things moving again. Welcome to day 5 of my weekend. School's been canceled every day this week. One more day of this and I'm using my physics book for fuel. Not that our heat is out - it isn't - but just because I'm kinda going stir-crazy and the blaze would, at least, provide something to look at aside from these four walls.

In other news, I did my taxes and my FAFSA, so I'm feeling all accomplished. Also not so stressed about funding the rest of the school program. Thanks, massive education-related deductions!

Today's faux-entry is brought to you by the letters A, D, H, & D.

2010-02-08T20:49:52Z

( I don't waaaaaanna do physics homework, so I'm gonna brag instead. )

Let it snow. A lot. Like, a metric fuckton.

2010-02-08T15:41:33Z

So, the moronically named snowpocalypse is past, and it dropped something like 30+ inches in the area. My fave moment was waking up on Saturday morning, and looking out the window while I was making coffee. There, in the 'backyard' between my set of apartment buildings and the apartments behind us, was a woman trying to encourage her lab-sized dog out into the snow to play and/or pee. He was having none of it. The snow was up past the woman's knees, which made it deeper than the dog.

He stayed curled around the trunk of a tree where the drifting had left a shallow area. It was a small tree, so he was in a small curl, glancing back at the 5+ feet of snow between him and the safety of the veranda & the door back into his apartment. Finally, his person came closer and he decided to venture forth, and he sank in with just his nose sticking out. He leaped toward her in these massive bounds that looked like a whale breaching the surface of the ocean only to crash back into the water. High-larious. He was not a happy camper.

Then, while he was wallowing through the massive snow drifts, another person with another dog came to their back door. Except their dog was *pocketsized* and being carried, and I just thought, 'dude, you won't see that thing before spring thaw if you try to take it out to pee right now.'

Anyway, once the snow finally stopped we collectively realized that of the 20-some-odd classmates who live in this apartment complex, only one had a shovel. So we took turns digging out our cars. Given the way the complex plowed the roads, there was a swath 3+ feet wide and 2+ feet deep from our back bumpers to the edge of the cleared road. That wasn't including the snow all around the cars that had drifted and was over 3 feet deep on the driver's side and the drifting from the sidewalk led to an unbroken field of snow from the door to our building up to the windshield on my car. Needless to say digging out took awhile.

I also now have a keen appreciation for people who leave furniture in their parking spaces when they pull out, to ensure no one else parks there. I spent hours digging out my car. You want to park there, you damn well better dig me a new place to park. *glowers*

Many secondary roads in Bmore are untouched (one of my classmates actually called me in a panic to ask if she could stay w/ us for awhile b/c her car is so snowed in she doesn't think she'll be able to drive for a week or more. She's parked in an unplowed alley off an unplowed secondary street off an unplowed secondary street...so there is effectively a half-mile unplowed field between her and a driveable street.) so the school is closed today.

Instead of class, I'll be studying (physics and orgo top the list), of course. Also on the to-do list: bringing a suit to the tailor and getting my taxes done so I can submit my FAFSA. Fun times!

Take two - or is it three?

2010-01-27T11:57:50Z

Second semester starts today. Sort of. Today was the scheduled start to the spring semester, but it was bumped back by a day for an on-campus educator's conference or something. I'm not really sure. EXCEPT our bio prof decided to lecture anyway. We don't actually have an assigned classroom, though, so our instructions are to meet in a certain hallway and then we'll follow along after him while searching for an available room.

Sounds like a good time.

I have been experiencing, what's the word? Ah, terror at the thought of the MCAT (seriously had to stop a discussion w/ my roommate b/c my heart started racing and I got all clammy). Naturally, I've responded to this in the best, most healthy way possible: by ignoring the approaching start of school and not preparing at ALL. Well. Beyond buying new notebooks, anyway. My first class is in two hours and I haven't yet set up a notebook. (Obviously I still have plenty of time. Setting up a notebook isn't exactly arduous...)

On the up side, I've been trying to work out some functional coping strategies to get me through this semester and ensure I don't drop the ball on MCAT prep. I've got a desk blotter calendar that I'm going to post on my wall w/ an MCAT study schedule. I'm working w/ another classmate who has similar study requirements as me (little ambient noise, few other pple, etc) to come up w/ a regular joint study schedule. I've been talking about the problem (history suggests I'm *really* in trouble when I start keeping secrets) and I think I'll be okay.

Still scared, though. For the record.

Right now I've got some Trader Joe's banana bread (w/ added chocolate chips) in the oven, a mug of coffee in my hand, and plenty of time to set up my notebook.

The break was, in a word, awesome. I haven't had this much time off since I was laid off in 2001, and this time I didn't lay awake nights wondering how long the unemployment would last. Before that, the last time I had this much time off was maybe the seventh grade? That's the last time I wasn't working to pay for my education, anyway. The point being: I feel restored. I spent lots of time with friends and family without feeling rushed.

Obviously my grandma's funeral and the holidays were really tough for the whole family, but it was still good to be with family and feel the love and support there. And now it's the final push.

I completed my primary and secondary applications to med school. The postbacc program is still working on the committee letters and should send those out in the next few weeks. After that, it's just waiting to hear about interviews. (I'm given to understand the school is likely to wait until they get a sense of how many people who have already been offered admission are likely to actually come before they start offering places to us, so we could be waiting for awhile.)

Grocery shopping debacle

2010-01-19T16:32:21Z

( In which all I wanted was *breakfast* )

Oh, hey, this reminds me...

2010-01-15T00:19:40Z

So, those of you who know me in person will understand just how excited I am to learn about Speakeasy DC. Storytelling, you say? With an audience? Awesome!

When I stumbled across this, it reminded me that someone at Tribecon was telling me about a podcast channel of storytelling. I don't remember what that was, so can you please remind me? Thanks!

Also, any locals interested in a 2nd Tuesday night outing at some point?

Help Haiti

2010-01-14T15:27:40Z

( Another offer at help_haiti )

Help Haiti

2010-01-13T13:58:51Z

Haiti was hit by a massive earthquake last night. The earthquake itself was a magnitude 7.0 and at least 28 aftershocks had a magnitude of 4.0 or greater. The capitol city has been destroyed and loss of life is expected to be catastrophic.

You can donate to Unicef
the Red Cross
or any of a large number of aid organizations that can be found here.

bayleaf @ 2010-01-11T10:02:00

2010-01-11T15:30:35Z

Yeah. The website is still not accepting applications. (The program director emailed on Friday to say the med school finally contacted AAMC, and the application should open on Wednesday.) What is this patience thing of which you speak? *refreshes anyway*

( So, a small update instead. )

On being too damn skippy

2010-01-04T15:57:21Z

So, you know, the official word on submitting my application was 'they'll open the website sometime in early January, and the deadline for submitting an application is January 15th.' I'm ready to go! Let's get this show on the road! I've had a completed application for two weeks, ready and waiting to hit the 'submit' button except I'm thwarted by the fact that the website isn't currently accepting applications. I've been hitting 'refresh' since about 8 AM on this, the first workday morning in January. In fact, I emailed the director of my program by 9:30 just to find out if there was something special I'm supposed to do, or if I just need to wait patiently. She said to wait patiently.

*taps toes and checks watch*

What about now? Is it ready now? Is it...oh, fuck it, I obviously am just a wee bit overexcited about this at the moment.

TribeCon or bust!

2009-12-30T03:15:54Z

abka and I are hitting the road sometime early in the morning. If all goes well, we'll reach TribeCon country around mid-afternoon. Can't wait!

1999-2009: Decade in review

2009-12-27T03:04:45Z

( 1999 )

( 2000 )

( 2001 )

( 2002 )

( 2003 )

( 2004 )

( 2005 )

( 2006 )

( 2007 )

( 2008 )

( 2009 )

This last decade has brought incredible opportunities and incredible people into my life. It's ended on a painful note with my grandmother passing away, but the fact remains I am incredibly blessed with good friends, loving and supportive family, and the opportunity to return to school against many odds. I think on balance, things have been pretty darn good.

Now, to balance out our programming with a POSITIVE post, for once

2009-12-24T03:49:35Z

Who's got two thumbs and a 4.0 GPA for the semester? THIS GIRL! \0/

This post brought to you by dinner with Aunt Teenie followed by 45 minutes in the car listening to E-Z Listening Christian Musicians Perform Horrifying New Christmas Songs (TM). My favorite being a skeezy lounge singer-sounding dude singing about 'Jesus Just Wants to Spend Christmas With You' in a way that just...I don't think the, er, musical styling quite presented the image that was intended by the lyrics? Like, maybe I'd buy it if Jesus was a cracked out booze hound looking to mooch a free meal and a night on the couch, but I'm guessing that wasn't really what they meant.

Anyway, positive = FOUR POINT FUCKING OH! *kof* Yes. This post is also brought to you be massive, massive sleep debt, so, bedtime for sleepy Alannas.

I have to be the adult in this situation. Oh, crap.

2009-12-22T15:45:25Z

( In which I ask for information/resources for how to approach the issue of eating disorders w/ one of the kids in the LGBT youth group. Potentially triggery wrt disordered eating. )

A tribute: my grandma in her own words

2009-12-18T00:42:44Z

In 2003 my grandparents went on a writing retreat w/ my mom. (They thought they were going just to support her, but she encouraged them to participate. My grandma wrote this in response to the prompt, "imagine you are looking through a door. What do you see there?"

( Life can be fun )
***

From a letter my grandma wrote to my mom in 1969:
( Read more... )

And, finally, a letter my uncle Eric wrote to my grandpa in 2003. As I've mentioned before, everyone who married into my mom's family came from a pretty rough background. In 2003, we had a big party to celebrate my grandparents' 80th birthdays and 60th wedding anniversary. At the party, we all wrote (and read aloud) tributes. My uncle Eric got too choked up to say his full tribute, and he wrote this letter later because he wanted to be sure they heard what he'd meant to say. Although it is directed to my grandpa, i think this letter exemplifies my family better than almost anything I could say. This, this right here, is what my family is like. This is why I was incredibly lucky, why I love family holidays, and why today hurts like hell.

( Read more... )

***
I was talking about this with my uncles, several of my cousins, with my aunts, and the thing is: we're a motley crew. If it weren't for the love and acceptance we found in our family, we'd be a bunch of fuckups. But instead, I think we're kind of awesome, and that? That's a better tribute to my grandma than anything else I can think of.

bayleaf @ 2009-11-26T10:50:00

2009-11-26T16:00:11Z

Happy Thanksgiving to the Americans (and anyone else who celebrates) on my flist!

I'm in Florida visiting the fam. My grandma was transferred from the hospital to a rehab facility the night before I arrived. After floating a couple plans ranging from 'sekritly springing grandma out of rehab' to 'leave her there alone while we all have dinner elsewhere,' (a plan that I vehemently opposed, oh my god), we finally settled on bringing dinner to her. Right now the house smells amazing. My folks are working on the gravy and the vegetable platter. Our usual side dishes (mashed potatoes, green beans, carrots & turnips) are already made and sitting in slow cookers waiting to be transported. My sister is making the turkey and cranberry sauce and dessert. In about 30 minutes we're packing up the car and heading over to the rehab facility where we have reserved a dining room for a couple hours.

My grandma is looking better. Or, well, she's incredibly thin. She's lost maybe 50 lbs in the past few months, so she's now just over 100 lbs and looking frail and tired, but she's got great skin color and her sense of humor and she's in her right mind. Given where she's been recently, that's pretty effing awesome. So, you know, I'm thankful for that.

My whole family makes me thankful. I lucked out, no lie.

I hope you all have a wonderful day, whether or not you are celebrating.

Update from the front lines

2009-11-17T13:00:52Z

( My mom just sent the following essay about my Grandma )

I'm relieved to hear that my grandma is starting to feel better and seems more comfortable and herself. Even though it is incredibly upsetting to learn that so much of her recent illness was caused by preventable medication errors.

Update on me in thirty seconds:

School continues to be school. I've just got to keep it together long enough to finish. Just a few more weeks to the semester and then a long break to regroup. (You are on notice, Team New England: I plan to visit for awhile. Just saying.) I still enjoy learning, make no mistake, but it's been a real struggle these past few weeks and I've been phoning it in.

This morning I am listening to Adam Lambert's album streaming on facebook. Amazing. Hilarious. Awesome. \0/

Last night I saw Anberlin, All American Rejects, and Taking Back Sunday in concert. I've seen TBS before but have never seen anberlin or AAR. We ended up bailing on TBS during their second or third song. The sound was effed up to the point I couldn't even recognize songs that I *love*. So, you know, I was really tired plus they sounded like crap, discretion, valor, etc etc. AAR was high-larious and fun, though. The trip and the sleep debt was well worth it for their set alone.

And that's all the news that's fit to print...